Last week, the New York Post ran a story about a rare kestrel named Alice Cooper (for reasons that should be apparent — see photos below) who was rescued by a good Samaritan in Brooklyn. The non-avian Alice, who is currently on tour in Australia, offered his take on the possibility of his feathery namesake getting into his act. "First 'The Crow' stole my makeup, and now this kestrel has done it," the legendary rockers said. "This madness has got to stop, or I'm going to send my army of lawyers with everything they've got to go up against this bird. The bird has been trying to get a part in the show and will try anything to generate attention and get into our production.... the only one who wants him in the show is the snake."