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GUNS N' ROSES: 'Chinese Democracy' Delay 'Explained'
- June 4, 2006
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The Onion, the satirical publication that bills itself as "America's Finest News Source," has offered several explanations for why GUNS N' ROSES' long-awaited new album, "Chinese Democracy", has yet to see the light if day. Check it out at this location. In other "news," Vidspot — which claims to be "the world's first site dedicated to the creation, presentation, and sharing of video clips and films made ONLY by camera phones" — has released what a video clip that purportedly depicts the alleged fight between GUNS N' ROSES mainman Axl Rose and fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger at a New York City club last month. Watch it at YouTube.com.
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COMMENT | TAKE COVER
posted by :
6/4/2006 1:40:29 PM
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OH BOY. Here comes the shit storm.
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COMMENT | THE ONION - THE DEFINITIVE NEWS SOURCE
posted by : Brother Maynard
6/4/2006 1:42:40 PM
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I'll go with, it doesn't exist or it sucks ass. Either way fans of GnR are or will get fleeced by this charade.
HIRED GUNS N' POSERS SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
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COMMENT |
posted by : mythirdeye
6/4/2006 1:44:53 PM
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g 'n r fucking sucks.
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COMMENT |
posted by : Zaphan58
6/4/2006 1:45:41 PM
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what the fuck is this shit being posted for?
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COMMENT | lol
posted by :
6/4/2006 1:46:19 PM
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lmao, ill be taking bets on the number of posts for this one
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COMMENT | Why?!?
posted by :
6/4/2006 1:47:04 PM
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Why post fucking joke-news, there´s no news value what so ever in this shit. But then again don´t give a shit about Guns´N´Roses anymore, just curoius if "Chinese Democracy" will ever see the light of day, not that I care.
So why the hell did I even bother to post a comment? I don´t fucking know...at least I can tell gringoz that he´s a fucking geek with his "first post" comment...that goes out to all you "I´m so coooool with my first post bitches!" Get a Life!
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COMMENT | JOKE NEWS FOR A JOKE BAND
posted by : Brother Maynard
6/4/2006 1:49:41 PM
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The last comment on The Onion is the most appropriate.
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COMMENT | ^^^^^^
posted by : metalliaddict
6/4/2006 1:51:50 PM
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it's a joke...at least you understand that. why post it? because it's funny.....or supposed to be anyway. lighten up, it's not like your time is SO valuable that your day has completely been ruined by reading this.
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COMMENT | AND THE JOKE IS ON ANYONE WHO BUYS INTO THIS BULLSHIT
posted by : Brother Maynard
6/4/2006 1:51:58 PM
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Boycott the Atrocity Band
GnR
Motley Crue
Ki$$
Metallica
Anything Osbourne
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COMMENT |
posted by :
6/4/2006 1:52:48 PM
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PREZUIWF: I love 'posts' with 'words' in 'quotation marks'
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COMMENT |
posted by : Saul Hudson
6/4/2006 2:05:33 PM
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Once there was this rock and roll band rollin, on the streets. Time went by and it became a joke.
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COMMENT | I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by : axlisold
6/4/2006 2:20:32 PM
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I completely agree that this incarnation comes off as a Vegas-type act. Other than the fact that they tour, it's no different than a David Lee Roth playing Van Halen songs in a Vegas show. Hire some musicians, tweak the songs a little and throw in some fancy stage effects...
I think Axl will have to deal with this perception as long as his act is based on covering the older GNR catalogue. What I can't understand is why he would want to play old school GNR songs and face this criticism when he supposedly has all these new songs ready to go. I thought he was the one who wanted to grow musically and leave the past behind? Guess not.
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COMMENT | Why Chinese??
posted by :
6/4/2006 2:31:00 PM
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Ten years later, there are enough hyped or nostalgic people to gross a mere 700000 for one show (see other news). Moreover, Axl is certainly not splitting all those money in equal part to all those replacers. So, whatever Axl is, I think he is just laughing in his bear (which would eventually grow). Why should be another album? One summer of shows and Axl would be multimillionaire again.
Maybe that's why these jokes were posted. GnR seems so like a joke, but I really hope that Axl, somehow. will be put at his place. Since he probably doesn't want to, Chinese will probably never appear...
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COMMENT | Brother Maynard
posted by : Iron Monkey
6/4/2006 2:34:11 PM
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is right on.
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COMMENT | the major theme: joke
posted by :
6/4/2006 2:46:53 PM
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i think the onion has the right idea. it fits well cuz g n' r is a fuckin joke. i think axl's only option is to shoot himself in the throat, cuz hes put too much hype into it when its obviously not comin out. if it actually finally comes out, theres about a 98% chance that it wont live up to its 10 year hype, and everyone will be pissed, or he can just abandon the project altogether, and again, everyone will be pissed. he dug himself in a hole deeper than his own ass'.
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COMMENT | hateyou666666666666666666666
posted by : axlisold
6/4/2006 2:57:19 PM
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There were 70'000 people at Rock am Ring, not 700'000 as you posted...
And it was a festival.. They didn't come to see nugnr.
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COMMENT | RIGHT SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by :
6/4/2006 3:01:14 PM
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAL U MISSED OUT SMETHIN ELSE............................
AXK IS WAITIN FOR ANOTHER SLASH, DUFF, MATT,GILBY IN HIS BAND TO JOIN..................................N WAITIN FR HIS ASS SURGERY WHICH FOLLOWS AFTER HIS BRAIN DERANGEMENT SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHINESE DEMOCRACY AINT COMIN OUT TILL AXL DIES.....MYBE SLASH'S GRANDKID WILL DO THE JOB FR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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COMMENT | hah
posted by : i
6/4/2006 3:02:49 PM
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who needs satire, GNR IS satire!
yeah and this is not really 'news', but at least it's about music and about an album that is forever coming, but FACE IT; it's never coming, or if it by some miracle ever comes, it's the disappointment of a lifetime, go buy APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION instead, there's a good one!
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COMMENT | cute
posted by :
6/4/2006 3:10:24 PM
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cute
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COMMENT | wow
posted by : AXLzLadie
6/4/2006 3:49:12 PM
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that was gay...i don't know how this qualifies as news
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COMMENT | ...
posted by : Slaytanic665+2-1
6/4/2006 4:34:27 PM
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Great news <--- irony
That wasn't even funny.
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COMMENT | HEY
posted by : Noel Gallagher
6/4/2006 4:37:16 PM
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There will be democracy in China before this album is released!!
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COMMENT | The onion just isn't funny
posted by : FAILURE
6/4/2006 5:03:14 PM
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But I do appreciate them goofing on new GNR. Axl and hired help are very easy to laugh at.
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COMMENT | Jesus
posted by : dimebag55
6/4/2006 5:16:29 PM
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This album is never coming out....
This current lineup of GNR is a joke anyways
Axl, Duff, Slash, Izzy, and Adler were GNR!!
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COMMENT | It's funny
posted by : MaskOfSanity
6/4/2006 5:18:27 PM
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Funny how people bash Axl for having "hired guns", when meanwhile it's easy to say that Slash was a hired gun. After all, the band's names Guns (Tracii Guns) N' Roses (Axl Rose), not Slash N' Roses.
Not to mention who cares? If it's a band you like, what difference does it make if the members are original. Look at Napalm Death. they've been around for more than 20 years and NOT ONE of them is an original member. You don't see anyone making fun of them for being "hired guns".
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COMMENT | MaskOfSanity
posted by : death23
6/4/2006 5:35:03 PM
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Shut up please.
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COMMENT |
posted by : Some Kind of Monster
6/4/2006 7:29:13 PM
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NOT FUNNY.
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COMMENT | 6hairball6
posted by :
6/4/2006 7:33:25 PM
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"Axl is in to Geffen Records for about $10,000,000. If the album doesn't go Platinum(which it won't) and Axl cancels any shows at all this summer, he is going to go to PRISON for de-frauding Geffen out of 10 years and a shitload of money."
I think they should just go ahead and have Axl arrested.
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COMMENT | AMAZING..............
posted by : themaskedpinapple
6/4/2006 7:35:28 PM
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AXL IS STILL TRYING TO PUT OUT A FUCKING ALBUM.
IT WILL SUCK AND NO1 WILL BUY IT, OR DOWNLOAD IT, OR STEAL IT.
SO WHY DOES AXL BOTHER?
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COMMENT | AMAZING..............
posted by : themaskedpinapple
6/4/2006 7:35:38 PM
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AXL IS STILL TRYING TO PUT OUT A FUCKING ALBUM.
IT WILL SUCK AND NO1 WILL BUY IT, OR DOWNLOAD IT, OR STEAL IT.
SO WHY DOES AXL BOTHER?
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COMMENT | "The last comment on The Onion is the most appropriate."
posted by : madeinquebec
6/4/2006 7:55:47 PM
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I agree with pretty much everything Maynard said.
\,,/ Peace and Hell.
Waiting to see what T-Bonehead will declare... "Meshugasugahgahgahhhhahaha"
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COMMENT |
posted by :
6/4/2006 8:43:01 PM
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Not only is there an article about fake news. But the Onion posted this on wednesday. At least keep your reports of fake news up to date.
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COMMENT |
posted by : PowerGroovin'
6/4/2006 8:53:37 PM
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I sure hope he found the right comeback bandana!
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COMMENT |
posted by : 3
6/4/2006 9:03:09 PM
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HEY BLABBERMOUTH you knows whats really sad? this site hasent been too far off from the onion with the storys you been posting lately. what the matter korn have a day off?
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COMMENT | Thank you 3
posted by : ed
6/4/2006 9:09:57 PM
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That last line was HILARIOUS!
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COMMENT | Also..
posted by : ed
6/4/2006 9:10:45 PM
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I'm surprised nobody mentioned anything about the YouTube video yet. Probably because it's so fucking stupid. However, whoever's voicing Axl does a great impersonation!
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COMMENT | GNR SuX
posted by :
6/4/2006 9:38:33 PM
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Theres always something going on with this comeback Cd,you know why because it sucks ass ,After the first GNR album that was it Axl is the biggest asshole ever . Lamb Of God and Slayer Rule ,Unholy Alliance ,Slash was the only thing good about GNR and Axel wont even let him back in the band because of ego issues Im Out
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COMMENT |
posted by : RiotAct666
6/4/2006 10:29:31 PM
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:(
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COMMENT |
posted by : Speed_Guitar
6/4/2006 11:58:30 PM
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COMMENT | THE ONION - THE DEFINITIVE NEWS SOURCE
posted by : Brother Maynard
6/4/2006 1:42:40 PM
I'll go with, it doesn't exist or it sucks ass. Either way fans of GnR are or will get fleeced by this charade.
HIRED GUNS N' POSERS SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
__________________________________
Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't you one of those Megadeth fanboys? You have no right to bitch about "hired guns" because Megadeth is nothing more than just Dave Mustaine and his hired guns. Oh, and Dizzy Reed is still in Guns N' Roses.
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COMMENT |
posted by : Speed_Guitar
6/5/2006 12:00:15 AM
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COMMENT | JOKE NEWS FOR A JOKE BAND
posted by : Brother Maynard
6/4/2006 1:49:41 PM
The last comment on The Onion is the most appropriate.
______________________________________________
Joke of a band?! Megadeth is more of a joke then Guns N' Roses! Guns N' Roses still has Dizzy Reed in the band! The only member of Megadeth is Dave Mustaine. You, are a hypocrite.
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COMMENT |
posted by :
6/5/2006 8:37:00 AM
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G'n'R has not been real since Appetite. Period. It isn't right without any of the guys. It is not the same chemistry in the songs. When an album comes out that jams all the way through like "Appetite", they will sound like G'n'R. But this will not happen.
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COMMENT | This is news?
posted by : DeadHorse1234
6/5/2006 12:37:29 PM
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I just wasted 3 minutes and 33 seconds of my life and I want them back.
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COMMENT | HAHA
posted by :
6/6/2006 12:08:35 AM
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"Waited for birth of new generation of fans less discerning and much more susceptible to hype"
Classic
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COMMENT | axl kicks ass
posted by :
6/19/2006 5:12:25 PM
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i love guns n roses i cant wait for chinese democracy to come out
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COMMENT |
posted by :
6/19/2006 5:15:35 PM
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AND ANOTHER THING AXL IS A FUCKING GOD DONT EVER INSULT HIM HE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!
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