Message:
[First email]

I'm a little disappointed. Not in the fact that this site has changed, but at the manner in which you depicted the former site. You depicted the site as Godless, and devoted to "Satanic heavy metal". That is so incredibly
closed-minded, it makes me embarassed to call you brothers in Christ.
The site was a parody site, it was making fun of metal bands. It was not
promoting Satan, nor does a good majority of the music they parodied.
It makes me ashamed that you would simply cast the site aside like that, without a second glance. What happened to letting God do the judging? I have nothing against your site, your band or your message. I love the
fact that there is Christian rock music out there, albeit most of it sucks.
But please, try to be a little bit more open-minded. I was a loyal reader to the former site and it was absolutely hilarious. But I guess
Christians aren't allowed to have a sense of humor. I guess that makes me a
Godless sinner.

Peaceout.

[a few hours later...]

Oh man, I just came across the most ridiculous statement in internet
history.

"NO its not "Halloween"... these two WEIRDOS were actually using the
dot.com name we wanted! They had a site devoted to heavy metal, and not the
GOOD kind, like Stryper or Barren Cross (who if they're reading this, Ed
still has that signed drumstick - thanks!). They talked about Black Sabbath,
WASP, Nitro and other bands who have been proven to worship Satan, and
who exort their fans to commit animal sacrifice, and sometimes even kill
people!"

Ironically, this is from your site. Funny how it works like that. I am not saying that guys shouldn't have the site, I think it's wonderful that your message is getting out there, but to make up lies about bands you don't even listen to... that's just plain ignorant. You're worse than the people
you claim to have fought for so long. I can't believe that you actually believe that paragraph. Black Sabbath?? Satanic? Ridiculous. If you've
actually listened to any of their music instead of what your pastor tells you,
you would know better. This is truly sad.

[and finally, the next day...]

Well played, Clerks.

Infernal Keith responds:
Thanks. It was nice of you to defend us so ardently, which probably makes me even more of a dick for tricking you in the first place.

Message:
well done, keith, YOU are the only real god, here! LOL!!

Infernal Keith responds:
I like how you think.

Message:
Dude, are you guys for real. You people seem to act as if you were still in the middle ages. Just in case you haven't realized, in the modern world, we don't call muslims heathens. They are people just like you and me. And what idiot judge would ever give you rights to a site that was already owned by someone else. It doesn't matter what content is in the sight, the owner of the site has right to put what he wants as long as it's not against the law. And you know half the crap you say are Satanic, is not at all. If you actually read what most of the bands in the Roadrunner Record label put on their cd's, you will see that they thank God and not Satan. Anyway, you have no right to tell others what to believe in and what not to believe in. If someone doesn't believe in God, that is their choice, not yours. I don't believe in God for scientific reasons, but I don't believe in Satan either. I am an atheist. Are you going to persecute me, too? Why are so ignorant?

responds:

Message:
I believe in Christ too, but this thing that you've done has nothing to do with Christ, you destroyed one of the best sites in the web.
Infernal Combustion(the real one) and Heavy Metal has nothing to do with Satan. OK sometimes they put the name of Satan in the lyrics but You're the ones that use the name Satan all the time, we know how to separate reality and fiction, you don't !! There is only one of two ways to define you: or you are so religious fanatic and narrow mind that you can understand jokes, provocative and sarcastic lyrics and texts made to create the opposite reaction or to warn people about the reality of our world and try to make they react and make it better, or you are trying to convert people to your religion to make them fanatic and get their money, became rich and deceive them, and this is the devil work that you are doing. Let people have free choice, He did it, why don't you ????

P.S. I love metal bands, even christian bands like Stryper, Barren Cross, Tourniquet, Vengeance Rising but I can accept that you say bad things about WASP, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Exodus, Vio-lence and all the secular bands that I love.
I'm just a catholic metalhead that separate religion and art!!!!!!!!!!
Give me my Infernal Combustion Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Infernal Keith responds:
Can I get an amen?

Message:
What is this? Where is the real Infernal Combustion??
Fuck dude, Satanic Metal?? What the fuck are you talking about? You guys dont know shit and your band will never do shit cuz Christian Rock sucks big time.

I'm gonna go listen to some good ol' Cannibal Corpse.

HELL AWAITS!!

responds:

Message:
Your Onion rip-off page is mildly amusing at times, but this April Fool's gag is pretty weak.

Nice try.

Infernal Keith responds:
So when you talk, does it sound exactly like the Comic Book Shop Guy from the Simpsons?

Message:
I must say, "Infernal Combustion" is a pretty intuitive play on words,
and it wasn't unthinkable for two people to come up with it. It was pretty
rude of you to force the closing of a very enjoyable site with just as much
right to the name as your band. I'm not wiilling to judge what is and isn't a
Christian attitude, but there might have been a better way to handle that.

Additionally, whatever your opinion of their Godlessness, at least the
other Infernal Combustion proofreads their website. Your spelling is atrocious,
and reflects VERY poorly on you.

Infernal Keith responds:
I totally thought the bad spelling would give it away. We only use that device in, like, every other IC story.

Message:
first off yer website is not only the most close minded piece of dribble i have ever read its prolly the most offenseive thing i have ever even heard of stealing a website from a couple people just trying to express
themselves is bs

i think i should get my lawyer family members after you for you trying to
express yourselves .....im a athiest i dont like what yer saying i should steal the website from you .....that exactly what you did to the people who own the website ...i say they own becuz they do in my mind ...... its this type of self righteousness that leads to what those fuckers in the middle east are doing ...... whats the difference between the terror you struck into
the original owners of the website and the terror struck intot he hearts of
everyone in the united states when those planes flew into the buildings
i wouldnt have a problem with you if you just got yer own website and decided
to preach threw that outlet
but what you did is not only immoral but unacceptable and i think that the original owners of the website should just go to yer houses and beat the living fuck out of each and every one of you ...... but too bad thats
only in a ideal world in this situation i would so send them money to help sue
you basterds i have seen true christians .....and you are not true christians ... and believe it or not i have been to christian camps and youth groups and even attended church for a good chunk of my life but thats before i realized my own beliefs ohh yeah back to my point true christians are open minded and would
just not approve of certain things not persecute them ..... like your doing to almost everything thats not thumping a bible
im off
have fun being close minded morons

jesse

Infernal Keith responds:
For the record, flying a plane into my house would definitely strike more terror into my heart than stealing my web site.

Thanks again to everyone who wrote in - good to see you're paying attention. I'll put the "real" Infernal Combustion band site up somewhere else soon, so its truth may go marching on forever...